Another year gone by. Like all the previous years, the year was also an eventful one. I lost my father. Actually he passed away in 2005 December, but the loss was felt throughout the year 2006 more. I never had the “ buddy buddy” relationship with my dad. Rather ours was a very formal ( if I may use the word) one. They say I am the replica of my dad. I talk too much like dad. I could even talk like long lost friends with complete strangers! That’s exactly like my dad, people say. I always had this nickname of being the most talkative one in school. Well now I don’t. Is it true that when you grow up you grow more orthodox (?). Thoughts like, this is not I should do or what will people say creep into your mind. May be, but one definitely becomes more cautious I would say.
Lets not go to those details now.
I was talking about my relationship with my dad. I remember well the stories which dad used to narrate when we were children. Those stories from “ Buri Aair Xadhu”. He was a excellent story teller. I still very vividly remember the day when I and my sister went to the Pre Primary school in Dibrugarh holding dad’s hands. That was not our first school though. That day the head mistress asked the peon to show us our class rooms and we left with him leaving dad’s hands. I think that was the day I let go off dad’s hands to step into another world. Time passed. Dad was never with us in our growing up years because of his transferable job. The gap also grew as I grew up. Dad gave me the freedom to make choices. What I didn’t realise was that if I made a choice then I should be able to take the responsibility for the consequences also. One wrong decision and everything went topsy turvy. For the first time in my life I saw tears in my dad’s eyes. I felt like dying. After the storm was over, he still insisted that I should go on as if nothing had happened. I should keep my head held high or else this world will no let me be in peace. I did that. Moved on and learnt to take things at my stride. But strange are the plans of fate they say. Dad had a massive stroke and went to coma. He remained bed ridden for 9 long months. By that time I was in the different world literally, away from Assam. Away from everybody . But this brought me home. I came back. Again took another decision , but this time ready to face the consequences.
Dad left us forever in December 2005. I feel the loss, the emptiness now. But I know dad knows that his daughter has grown up and can handle everything with her head held high! Thanks dad.